how bout an intro?

Hi.

This is us. 

On a good day.

(We normally sport the sweats, pony tail, and baby food or if we are lucky, pee all down our shirts)

I’m not even going to lie about it. I’m starting this blog for selfish reasons. It could be a total flop, but I just have this urge to do it. Could be the Texas heat gettin at me who knows.

I have to be completely, 100% honest in saying that my whole life I wanted to be a mom, but the second I became a mom I hated it. DISCLAIMER: I don’t hate my child, I just hated the job. My world was completely turned upside down in the best and worst way.  I felt almost helpless, like I had forgotten everything I learned when I was 12 and the neighborhood babysitter. I almost just didn’t trust myself with my own baby. It was ever so joyous to hold him in my arms when he was sleeping and being happy, but when things went awry it was like I just froze. I couldn’t eat, all I wanted to do was sleep, but was constantly paranoid not knowing if I could keep this tiny human even alive. A feeding schedule? I don’t think I’ve ever lived off the clock so intensely.  Something that was supposed to come so "natural" was the total opposite for me. My love for my baby was there, I just wasn't.

I had family around me but I just felt alone. (Could possibly the fact that my hormones were out of whack) My husband became “Mr. Mom” on most of my breaking moments (which consisted of most of the time those first 3 months). He was the natural. 

So I reached out. I made a group on Facebook so that I could ask my fellow moms how to cure mastitis, deal with thrush, stop acid reflux, which pediatrician was good, etc. you name it! As stupid as Facebook is for some reason it really helped.

You always see beautiful posts about motherhood (which is so great!)… but I felt like I was the only one struggling in this department. It was almost like I had an identity crisis for a minute because I didn’t know how to be my old self in a new mom’s body. I want this blog to be the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think sometimes it’s okay for others to see the “hard” you go through so that they can see how you get through it and come out on top.

I’m also very sensitive to those struggling to have kids or have had stillborns and miscarriages. I have close friends and family who have had to go through that and my heart aches for them.

My views are very open. There’s so much controversy out there over giving birth naturally, epidurals, sleep training, breast feeding, vaccinations… I could go on. There are so many right ways to be a good mom!

So that is why I’m introducing to you “The Mamahood”. AKA my journey to learning how to love my job. Things have progressed quite a bit and I’m loving it more and more each day but I’m hoping that I can truly say “I LOVE being a mom.” And mean it with every bit of my heart.  So if this blog ends up just being for me then great, but if I can somehow reach out to other moms experiencing the same thing than I’ve done my job.

I will be posting a variety of things from good deals, to beauty secrets, to DIYs, to recipes, to quotes I love, to pictures of poop on my walls. The list goes on, so stay tunedJ